Wow, what a crazy month this has been. As anyone who is Facebook friends with me can attest, It has been a whirlwind of 3 kids’ birthdays, Easter, our anniversary, Mother’s Day, as well as various concerts, bike races and awards ceremonies. We still have another concert as well as a spring football game this week. Next week is the last week of school, and all of us are due for a little break from the craziness.
As I looked back over all the postings from the past month, I am blessed by the friends and family who liked and commented on the photos I posted of the family, of the crazy daily activities that keep us from being able to stop and take a deep breath. Then at the same time, I look back and wonder: why didn’t so and so like that picture? why didn’t this person wish the kids happy birthday? why didn’t that person like any of the prom photos?
Then I realized….Facebook is like having to go back to high school all over again. You worry about trying to be popular, getting the most friends, hoping every single one of them likes you. You smile warmly when your friends like the photos of your family. You frown to yourself when someone doesn’t like a photo you’ve posted, yet you know they’ve seen them because they are on Facebook daily, liking other random stuff. Then you start to wonder…..do they not like me? do they not like my kids? do they not approve of something they see on my wall? If you say the wrong thing, you get unfriended….or vice versa, you hit the unfriend button. And BOOM, right there, you are living your life worrying about what people think, just like it’s high school all over again.
I should have caught a clue when our high schoolers ditched Facebook for other social media venues. Sure, 2 of them still have FB pages, but they don’t post on them. The only time something new hits their wall is when a parent or grandparent posts something or tags them in a post. I try not to do that too often, as I know it drives them nuts – unless of course I post a cool photo of them excelling in some sort of sport where they look badass. Heck, even the youngest one didn’t want to get a Facebook page when he turned 13 and we gave him the option.
Sometimes I could actually learn a thing or two from my kids. Scott left Facebook quite a while ago, around the time everyone thought it was ok to spout their filth and garbage about how their side of the political spectrum was right and everyone else was stupid. Me, I stayed on, quickly scrolling by the political crap and not reading. But there in, I was doing the judging high school thing myself, not liking or commenting. In retrospect, I could have commented, and hoped to start a well-rounded discussion where both sides of the fence are treated equally. But in most political posts, the poster doesn’t want to see both sides….they want to convince us that their side is the only side.
I try to stay away from politics on Facebook, because my feelings are that your views are your views and my views are my views. They may be similar, or they may be polar opposite. We’re all entitled to our views. We’re also entitled to keep them the hell to ourselves.
I thought about walking away from Facebook many times, but so far I have decided to stay on. I like keeping up with my friends that are not near anymore. I love seeing photos from the people I grew up with who are now parents and grandparents facing the same issues as me – I know I’m not alone in this aging boat! I also love to see the photos from the younger people who I’ve worked with over the years who are just starting their families – all the new little babies coming into the world reminds me of when I thought that was a terribly hard age and how I miss it from time to time.
No, I’ll stay on Facebook for now….I just won’t worry about whether anything I post gets any likes or comments. I realize this is not high school and I don’t have to care about how others feel. I’m proud of each and every one of my kids and my husband, If someone chooses not to like a photo of them, that’s their problem. They are the ones judging. If they comment on one kid, but not the others, that’s also their problem. They should get to know all of them – because each one is interesting and different in their own way, and frankly, they are a blast to talk to.