Mom’s Christmas List

‘Twas the week before Christmas, when all through the house, not one little child was cleaning my house; The stockings were hung by the chimney, but who cares, the kids are all stuck on their electronics, unawares….

Ok, so I suck at the poetry.  We are a week away from Christmas.  Is my shopping done?  Heck no.  Why panic? We have seven more days to fight the disgruntled crowds.   Everyone made a Christmas list in our family and passed them around.  After thinking twice, I decided I could have come up with a much better list….though I’m not sure any of these are deliverable!  Here’s what mom wants for Christmas this year!

1.  Just ONE six weeks where we don’t have to chase down ZEROS because of missing papers or assignments not turned in.

2. No strep, flu or stomach bugs in the adults or children in our house.  All you little typhoid Marys, stay away from us.

3. Self-cleaning dogs.  Rainy winter days (and diarrhea episodes) make for very dirty dogs.

4. Never having to touch raw chicken again.  My kids will tell you there is no food substance I hate more than raw chicken.  Bleck.

5. For Stevie the Elf on the Shelf to be involved in some horrid accident.  Yes, I’m a sicko.

6. A day with my kids to just sit and watch Christmas movies and eat cookies.  Alas, 3 of my kids go to their dad’s tomorrow and don’t return until after Christmas.  And they won’t sit still that long anyway.

7. For my pants to fit at the end of the holiday season.  I have given up wishing that they were too big.

8. To have my 19 year old boobs back.  TMI?  Hell, why not the entire 19 year old body?

9.  For my SI pain to magically disappear, never to return again, without the intervention of needles and drugs or RFAs.

10. A body that actually looks better after busting my ass at the gym with a trainer for 5 months.  If I’m gonna put in the work, the least I ask is to be able to see it.

11. New shoes…..a girl can never have enough shoes.

12.  A new wardrobe to go with the shoes.  After all, these pants from 5 years ago aren’t going to last forever. An unlimited VISA card will do just fine.

13. A trip alone with my husband anywhere out of this city, even if its just for a weekend.

14. A break from the mortgage, big fat college funds and no credit card bills.  I know…put down the crack pipe.

15.  Just 5 more minutes of sleep.

What are you wishing for this Christmas?  Whatever it is, I hope Santa brings it!  Have a very Merry Christmas!